Coordinate Tables Are Out of Date (By A Thousand Years)

Spyro: Year of the Dragon. It was one of those games where you would happily yell at your Mum; “Fuck Sunday Dinner, I need two more Dragon Eggs!” … Apart from I like Sunday Dinner and I wouldn’t be swearing at the age of 6, so I wouldn’t be saying that.

11:09 last night. I started thinking; About Spyro. I couldn’t get to sleep so I rolled out of bed [I roll - too much food in body] and walked to the phone. I called my brother up and asked him to confirm the year and my age upon purchasing our first ever games console; the PS1 and my favourite ever game, Spyro. As I put the phone down after leaving an odd voice message I went to bed, etching the words ‘play Spyro tomorrow…’ and ‘…get mum OK! Magazine’ in my notepad.

I remember days where me and my brother played games, we sat and layed and changed our positions on seats and the weather changed and the TV changed and the carpets changed yet we still sat and layed and played games. Me and brother played ‘Final Fantasy’ and enriched ourselves with the stories and we tried to comprehend the badness that eventually made goodness in regards to ‘Legend of Croc’ and we laughed at the fact we had just fell through the glitchy floors of the ‘Simpsons Hit and Run’ levels.

But I loved the extreme vastness of the Spyro games that made you fell you could go anywhere, the graphics that made you want to hug the pixels for being proud of being bad, the amazingly simple and effortless character development, the comedic dialogues that I would only really understand on a 2^nd playing and the inspiring and great soundtrack, it was a game that yelled in the nicest way possible; “Never put me down this is better than reality!”

When I think of days playing games and playing Spyro everything is round and bright. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve grown up slightly but no game since has captured my mind as much as Spyro did… Recently with Portal 2 I experienced the same gaming situation, my brother played and I ate cake and watched. It was pretty awesome yeah, but still, Spyro: Year of the Dragon… just wow. That game.

Last night when I picked up and dusted the case of Spyro: Year of the Dragon, I felt and ran my fingers over the mark of where I failed to remove the price tag 10 years ago, I saw the crack across the case, the crack that occurred on my first day of purchase, I flicked through the slightly creased instruction manual and I rubbed the disk dotted with the occasional scratch. I smiled and rolled back into bed and remembered the many minutes I spent just head butting a Roman Warrior Teddy Bear.

Myles Recommends: the bus that couldn't slow down - The J. Arthur Keeness Band

Goodbye people of the Internet. I hope you enjoy Dr. Who tonight. What if I don't want to enjoy it. Oh, sorry, I just thought you might. No. Okay. It's not very science-y for a SCIENCE-fiction programme is it. No it isn't. Bye.

Protons, Electrons, Neutrons and Cheers

I'm round my Nan's at the minute, it's her Birthday. It's also the Royal Wedding. I think my Nan deserved more coverage.

So you know that thing in a Marriage Ceremony in a Church when the Priest says prayers? Yeah? Well after about 3 of these prayers the Priest continued speaking with "I'd like to say another prayer…" to which my 5 year old cousin replied with "Uhhh, how many more?" He also explained the whole story of the film 'Cars' to me, even after I said I'd seen it 5 times. Classic Boi.

Leading up to the Wedding in the weeks and days in which I listened to all the hype and I saw two people's faces plastered over and over on cups and t-shirts and condoms, I took a disliking to the whole Royal Wedding thing; I disliked the fact that their love seemed like it was almost being marketed. I never saw why it was so important for it to be broadcasted everywhere for hours, TV networks constantly replaying a kiss slower and slower each time... But today my opinion changed.

I kind of watched a bit of the Wedding and I kind of stayed in my pyjamas until 2:34.

When I flicked through the television channels blurred by faces of smiles and colours of flags and cheers and churches I saw it. I loved the fact that millions of people were just getting mentally excited about a wedding. If my mum, like she did a few months ago, told me someone I knew was getting married I'd probably just go "Oh, that's nice, I'll write a card" But no, today people devoted hours to just get a glimpse of a dress. I originally thought this was pretty retarded, but upon seeing how happy people were getting today I thought "Screw it, give the parrot its cracker" - That’s something I say now by the way.

I like to think the reason people focus so much on this over other weddings just down the road is because it joins the world. Cameras buzz and people tweet and laugh and it's such a brilliantly huge distraction from everything... I drank 4 Cokes today! I never drink 4 Cokes [The drug]. I think seeing this image of two happy, lovely humans in the public eye reflects on the world as a symbol of love. And although I still dislike that 'Royal Wedding Jelly Beans' are actually out there on shop shelves...

...I think it's great if people wanna go mental over a wedding; As long as you don't get 'William should have chosen me" tattooed onto your bum; Well done lady from Wales off the news this morning.

Myles Recommends: The Cat Empire - No Longer there

Bye. Have a great Friday! Don't tell me what to do. Sorry. I liked the Queen in yellow. Bet you did. Bye. 

The Rocket Really is the Way to Go

Phew, finally dropped the toaster in the bath water of Tumblr. Oh, that lovely site with its insistent postings of 'HAVE A GLEE GIF!!' and 'RE-BLOG THIS PICTURE OF A FAT BABY COS IT’S FUNNY!!' I found that site never really gave words a go, and that meant it hardly ever came face to face with originality. But Blogger seems nice; Looks cool, smells cool, hears cool. I think we could be friends. [Not gonna happen, can't be friends with a website]

Just as a little insight into my mind, here's something I wrote on my phone when I visited London yesterday. [I had to pay 50p to go to the toilets and I had a waffle]

At the moment I'm on a floor filled with footballs in a big sports shop in London in England, Earth. From the train station over to this shop I was greeted with a laugh from my mum: "Myles, you're in Madame Tussauds" I turned. Justin Bieber apparently now has a wax model in Madame Tussauds...Well done. Congrats.

We've now advanced up the escalator in the shop, my Dad just got excited at some tennis balls that formed the letter 'R'. The reason I'm in London is because we're taking my brother back to Universe City. In the bus station, as we saw Ryan off, four pigeons flew in and were walking around near the vending machines. Pigeons shouldn't be doing that. My Dad said that they were probably waiting for a bus and that the one that was flying around going mental had probably lost his luggage. I doubted that. My Dad then continued with his thoughts that one of the pigeons was called Clive... Sort it out Dad. 

 

On the Train back home now, there's a man who's drinking a can of beer whilst subtly trying to pour vodka into it. Don't even try and be subtle about that, if you're gonna do it, you might as well do it with pride, otherwise, what else have you got? It was horrible to watch, the train was moving all over the place and this drink was going everywhere, when he stood up for his stop I thought he was going to fall on top of me. In his two bags filled with drinks he pulled out a cabbage, he looked pretty confused. 

- Myles

[I forgot to say, I'm Myles by the way and I'm having pasta for dinner tonight]